Hearing Impaired
There's been more than once when I've had to ask people to repeat what they were saying to me with the universally polite please-repeat-yourself-phrase: "Huh?"
Perhaps there's something wrong with my hearing, even before headphones were a daily necessity.
The art of communication is what makes us human, here's some exchanges I've encountered in the past few weeks.
Fastfood drive through Guy: Hello, welcome to McBurger in the Box.
thecrowes: Hi... i'd like to have a number 23 please?
Fastfood drive through Guy: what? a number 33?
thecrowes: no... ! a number 23!
Fastfood drive through Guy: what? a number 43?
thecrowes: What the... f...?? a NUMBER TWENTY THREE!
Fastfood drive through Guy: Oh, ok, would you like Orange juice with that?
thecrowes: yea, orance juice would be fine, thanks.
Fastfood drive through Guy: what? you want beer?
thecrowes: Wh...WHAT? NO!
thecrowes: ORANCE JUICE!
thecrowes: what the hell? is he high?
Fastfood drive through Guy: Oh, yea, that will be 5.17 please.
thecrowes: Jesus Christ....
=================================================
So today i tried to cancel my Verizon DSL from my house, which i have recently moved out of, it took me 5 tries to finally get it working, here's how it panned out.
Try 1:
Verizon AI Operator: Hello, thank you for calling verizon, also on the web at Verizon.com, *VA *RI* ZON~ is this the number you are calling about? 805-291-xxxx?
thecrowes: .......
Verizon AI Operator: please say yes or no.
thecrowes: no...
Verizon AI Operator: ok, so what number are you calling about?
thecrowes: 805-685-2539
Verizon AI Operator: you just said, 805-685-2535, we...
thecrowes: NOOO!!
Verizon AI Operator: do not that number does not exist in our data base, good bye.
thecrowes: FAAA!!!!!
========================================
Try 2:
Verizon AI Operator: Hello, thank you for calling verizon, also on the web at Verizon.com, *VA *RI* ZON~ is this the number you are calling about? 805-291-xxxx?
thecrowes: .......gay
Verizon AI Operator: please say yes or no.
thecrowes: ...no
Verizon AI Operator: ok, so what number are you calling about?
thecrowes: 805-685-253NINE
Verizon AI Operator: you just said, 805-685-2539, do you allow us to access your information?
thecrowes: .....yea..
Verizon AI Operator: please say YES or NO
thecrowes: ... yes
Verizon AI Operator: ......
thecrowes: ... YES
Verizon AI Operator: please hold as we transfer you to an agent to assist you, your call may be monitored to ensure quality of service.
thecrowes: ......
Verizon AI Operator: Sorry, all of our agents are currently assisting other customers, please wait on the line for the next available agent.
Verizon Advertisements, male: Hey HONEY what are you doing?
Verizon Advertisements, female: I'm trying to XXXXX but this dial up is SO SLOW~!
Verizon Advertisements, male: Why don't we switch to verizon's new FAST...
thecrowes: .........
*10 minutes later*
Verizon Advertisements, male: Hey HONEY what are you doing?
Verizon Advertisements, female: I'm trying to XXXXX but this dial up is SO SLOW~!
Verizon Advertisements, male: Why don't we switch to verizon's new FAST...
Verizon AI Operator: All of our agents are currently assisting other clients, please hold for the next available agent, this will be your last notice.
thecrowes: .........
*10 minutes later*
Verizon Advertisements, female: I'm trying to XXXXX but this dial up is SO SLOW~!
Verizon Advertisements, male: Why don't we switch to verizon's new FAST...
thecrowes: FAST MY F#&@(ING ASS! GAAAAAHHHH!!!
*beep*
thecrowes: ......?
phone: "call ended, duration: 25:16"
thecrowes: GAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
===============================================
Try 3:
Verizon AI Operator: Hello, thank you for calling verizon, also on the web at Verizon.com, *VA *RI* ZON~ is this the number you are calling about? 805-291-xxxx?
*Skipped*
Verizon AI Operator: I can perform the following operations to your account: change of services, cancelation, speak to a a..
thecrowes: CANCELATION!
Verizon AI Operator: you chose, speak to an agent....
thecrowes: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Verizon AI Operator: please hold.
Verizon Advertisements, male: Hey HONEY what are you doing?
Verizon Advertisements, female: I'm trying to XXXXX but this dial up is SO SLOW~!
thecrowes: FUCKING DIEEEEEE!!!!!!
*20 minuts later*
Female Agent: Hello sir, how many i assist you today?
thecrowes: .......z....z.......oh.. I"D LIKE TO CANCEL MY SERVICES
Female Agent: I'm sorry sir, that department is closed now...
thecrowes: what? it's only.. *glances at clock*... 6.....04....
Female Agent: i'm sorry sir, but the department closes at 6
thecrowes: what, its only 4 minutes....can you cancle on your computer?
Female Agent: i'm sorry sir, i can not, you have to call back tomorrow
thecrowes: I waited for 30 minutes, in the morning, and i got dropped, and then i just waited another 20 minutes now.
Female Agent: I'm sorry sir, you have to call back tomorrow.
thecrowes: .................
Female Agent: ............
thecrowes: ................
Verizon Advertisements, male: Hey HONEY what are you doing?
*click*
Perhaps there's something wrong with my hearing, even before headphones were a daily necessity.
The art of communication is what makes us human, here's some exchanges I've encountered in the past few weeks.
Fastfood drive through Guy: Hello, welcome to McBurger in the Box.
thecrowes: Hi... i'd like to have a number 23 please?
Fastfood drive through Guy: what? a number 33?
thecrowes: no... ! a number 23!
Fastfood drive through Guy: what? a number 43?
thecrowes: What the... f...?? a NUMBER TWENTY THREE!
Fastfood drive through Guy: Oh, ok, would you like Orange juice with that?
thecrowes: yea, orance juice would be fine, thanks.
Fastfood drive through Guy: what? you want beer?
thecrowes: Wh...WHAT? NO!
thecrowes: ORANCE JUICE!
thecrowes: what the hell? is he high?
Fastfood drive through Guy: Oh, yea, that will be 5.17 please.
thecrowes: Jesus Christ....
=================================================
So today i tried to cancel my Verizon DSL from my house, which i have recently moved out of, it took me 5 tries to finally get it working, here's how it panned out.
Try 1:
Verizon AI Operator: Hello, thank you for calling verizon, also on the web at Verizon.com, *VA *RI* ZON~ is this the number you are calling about? 805-291-xxxx?
thecrowes: .......
Verizon AI Operator: please say yes or no.
thecrowes: no...
Verizon AI Operator: ok, so what number are you calling about?
thecrowes: 805-685-2539
Verizon AI Operator: you just said, 805-685-2535, we...
thecrowes: NOOO!!
Verizon AI Operator: do not that number does not exist in our data base, good bye.
thecrowes: FAAA!!!!!
========================================
Try 2:
Verizon AI Operator: Hello, thank you for calling verizon, also on the web at Verizon.com, *VA *RI* ZON~ is this the number you are calling about? 805-291-xxxx?
thecrowes: .......gay
Verizon AI Operator: please say yes or no.
thecrowes: ...no
Verizon AI Operator: ok, so what number are you calling about?
thecrowes: 805-685-253NINE
Verizon AI Operator: you just said, 805-685-2539, do you allow us to access your information?
thecrowes: .....yea..
Verizon AI Operator: please say YES or NO
thecrowes: ... yes
Verizon AI Operator: ......
thecrowes: ... YES
Verizon AI Operator: please hold as we transfer you to an agent to assist you, your call may be monitored to ensure quality of service.
thecrowes: ......
Verizon AI Operator: Sorry, all of our agents are currently assisting other customers, please wait on the line for the next available agent.
Verizon Advertisements, male: Hey HONEY what are you doing?
Verizon Advertisements, female: I'm trying to XXXXX but this dial up is SO SLOW~!
Verizon Advertisements, male: Why don't we switch to verizon's new FAST...
thecrowes: .........
*10 minutes later*
Verizon Advertisements, male: Hey HONEY what are you doing?
Verizon Advertisements, female: I'm trying to XXXXX but this dial up is SO SLOW~!
Verizon Advertisements, male: Why don't we switch to verizon's new FAST...
Verizon AI Operator: All of our agents are currently assisting other clients, please hold for the next available agent, this will be your last notice.
thecrowes: .........
*10 minutes later*
Verizon Advertisements, female: I'm trying to XXXXX but this dial up is SO SLOW~!
Verizon Advertisements, male: Why don't we switch to verizon's new FAST...
thecrowes: FAST MY F#&@(ING ASS! GAAAAAHHHH!!!
*beep*
thecrowes: ......?
phone: "call ended, duration: 25:16"
thecrowes: GAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
===============================================
Try 3:
Verizon AI Operator: Hello, thank you for calling verizon, also on the web at Verizon.com, *VA *RI* ZON~ is this the number you are calling about? 805-291-xxxx?
*Skipped*
Verizon AI Operator: I can perform the following operations to your account: change of services, cancelation, speak to a a..
thecrowes: CANCELATION!
Verizon AI Operator: you chose, speak to an agent....
thecrowes: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Verizon AI Operator: please hold.
Verizon Advertisements, male: Hey HONEY what are you doing?
Verizon Advertisements, female: I'm trying to XXXXX but this dial up is SO SLOW~!
thecrowes: FUCKING DIEEEEEE!!!!!!
*20 minuts later*
Female Agent: Hello sir, how many i assist you today?
thecrowes: .......z....z.......oh.. I"D LIKE TO CANCEL MY SERVICES
Female Agent: I'm sorry sir, that department is closed now...
thecrowes: what? it's only.. *glances at clock*... 6.....04....
Female Agent: i'm sorry sir, but the department closes at 6
thecrowes: what, its only 4 minutes....can you cancle on your computer?
Female Agent: i'm sorry sir, i can not, you have to call back tomorrow
thecrowes: I waited for 30 minutes, in the morning, and i got dropped, and then i just waited another 20 minutes now.
Female Agent: I'm sorry sir, you have to call back tomorrow.
thecrowes: .................
Female Agent: ............
thecrowes: ................
Verizon Advertisements, male: Hey HONEY what are you doing?
*click*
posted by thecrowes at
10:16 PM
3 Comments:
i lol'd
;ㅂ;
I must say, its been awhile since I last read your blog, but you're still very entertaining with it. Took a study break and decided to go look at xanga and go to this page.
Oh, and I deleted all my instant messaging stuff so I would waste less time. I'm also thinking of getting a new number..I've stopped answering my current phone almost. I usually turn it on silence and throw it to some corner. Too many guys I dont' want to talk to call me....>_<
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