Games of This Year!

Oh wow, it's been a new year, time for another round of Single Sentence Game Reviews!

Red Dead Redemption:

3 Endings followed by title card makes this western a classic, fucking cougars.

Starcraft 2:

Played games for 15 years, this game is the only one that made my wrist hurt.

Limbo:

Reason I busted out the 360 after a whole year of leaving it in the closet. Also, brain slugs.

Heavy Rain:

JASON! JASON! JASON??!

Assassin's Creed Brotherhood:

A Slew of epic moments from the multi-player. Made me realized I'm very good at mind fucking, and stabbing random people on the internet.

Civilization V:

One more turn… holy shit its 5 am!

Super Scribblenauts:

Microscopic vegetarian bloodsucking robotic fighter jet: this phrase clears a level.

Etrian Odyssey III:

Drawing your own map makes me want to play better games.

Kirby’s Epic Yarn:

Kirby is absolutely adorable!!! Got bored and stop playing at world 2.

Mario Galaxy 2:

Mario is not for me, wait, why the hell did I buy this again?

Bioshock 2:

Little girls and drills.

Alan Wake:

Atmospheric and enjoyable, I now carry an industrial flashlight everywhere.

Darksiders:

Obviously hates people who play it on the PC, worst key binding decisions possible.

Dead Rising 2:

I guess you don’t ride very well, CHUCK. I’m very disappointing in your performance tonight, CHUCK. I guess you hear that a lot from women, CHUCK.

God of War 3:

Finished on Titan mode, had around 300 deaths. Never played it again.

Enslaved:

Great story, setting, and characters, stuck at the boat section.

Castlevania:

God of War but with only 1 chain.

Tactics Ogre:

I love strategy, and this is a total time sink.

Metal Gear Peace Walker:

Kojima is God. Also M47 solves all your problems.

Monster Hunter Tri:

Paid beta for Monster Hunter 3^rd.

Monster Hunter 3^rd:

Is teaching my roommate Japanese, he now knows the word for “rock”.

Mass Effect 2:

I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite game of the year!

Oh wow, it's been a new year, time for another round of One Sentence Game Reviews!

Mass Effect 2:

I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite game of the year!

Red Dead Redemption:

3 Endings followed by title card makes this western a classic, fucking cougars.

Starcraft 2:

Played games for 15 years, this game is the only one that made my wrist hurt.

Limbo:

Reason I busted out the 360 after a whole year of leaving it in the closet. Also, brain slugs.

Heavy Rain:

JASON! JASON! JASON??!

Assassin's Creed Brotherhood:

A Slew of epic moments from the multi-player. Made me realized I'm very good at mind fucking, and stabbing random people on the internet.

Civilization V:

One more turn… holy shit its 5 am!

Super Scribblenauts:

Microscopic vegetarian bloodsucking robotic fighter jet: this phrase clears a level.

Etrian Odyssey III:

Drawing your own map makes me want to play better games.

Kirby’s Epic Yarn:

Kirby is absolutely adorable!!! Got bored and stop playing at world 2.

Mario Galaxy 2:

Mario is not for me, wait, why the hell did I buy this again?

Bioshock 2:

Little girls and drills.

Alan Wake:

Atmospheric and enjoyable, I now carry an industrial flashlight everywhere.

Darksiders:

Obviously hates people who play it on the PC, worst key binding decisions possible.

Dead Rising 2:

I guess you don’t ride very well, CHUCK. I’m very disappointing in your performance tonight, CHUCK. I guess you hear that a lot from women, CHUCK.

God of War 3:

Finished on Titan mode, had around 300 deaths. Never played it again.

Enslaved:

Great story, setting, and characters, stuck at the boat section.

Castlevania:

God of War but with only 1 chain.

Tactics Ogre:

I love strategy, and this is a total time sink.

Metal Gear Peace Walker:

Kojima is God. Also M47 solves all your problems.

Monster Hunter Tri:

Paid beta for Monster Hunter 3^rd.

Monster Hunter 3^rd:

Is teaching my roommate Japanese, he now knows the word for “rock”.

I Don't Normally, But When I Do..

Is it pathetic that I laughed at some of the things I wrote 2~3 years ago on this blog? I feel somewhat obligated to write something to keep this thing alive (even if its just in my life).

I don't normally write unless I have some insight to share or some horrendously hilarious customer service experience happens.

I've been absorbing a ton of information on a daily basis, anything from the mysterious California missile (its just a contrail, guys), how the Kinnect hardware costs around 50 bucks, to more serious things like the controversy of new TSA procedures, the recent election, and OMG THEY JUST LAUNCHED A MISSLE IN CALIFORNIA.

Here's to hoping something interesting will happen so that I can write about it, something insightful, or some horrendously hilarious customer service experience.

In the mean time, enjoy a picture I snapped of a product at Bed Bath & Beyond.


Because there's nothing I rather spend my money on than to "Let my pet ride in luxury and style"

A Possible Explanation

For those of you not following the saga, there is an old lady calling my phone repeatedly for the past 2 weeks with the wrong number.

Writing her off as retarded is way too easy, I seek a believable explanation through logic and deduction through the scientific method:


Scenario 1:
She is a old lady who lives in a senior home, wheel chair bound.
Her daughter fills out a form containing her contact information including his phone number. The nurse of the senior home punches in the phone number and records it as speed dial.

Every time the old lady asks to speak to her daughter the nurse hands her a phone and hits speed dial.

She never manages to convey the fact that its the wrong number because she's retarded.


Hello? I have the wrong number, Hello?

Scenario 2:
Hospital ICU, Dr.House just announces to an old lady that she has retardedalidus. She has 30 days to live. Due to her disease she is unable to press buttons on a phone. She scribbles a phone number down and hands it to the nurse to call her nutritionist to tell him he's fired. The nurse squints hard to figure out what the scrawl, and punches it into speed dial.

Hits #1 and hands her the phone



What do you mean "you're not the operator?"

Alright, I've got nothing.

From what I garner, she's hitting the damn speed dial with the wrong number and not punching in my phone number by heart every day now.

Once she figures that out, it'll all be A-OK right?
or, when she finally crosses into the next century and her phone's memory gets wiped by the Y2K bug.

But No. I was wrong.

So wrong.









Today she called me from A Different Number!!!




HAHAHA, the little shit will never see this coming!!